Navigating Families and Schools in Conflict: Relationships and Prevention

Introduction

For students who receive special education services, families are intended to be an integral part of their school experience. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) mandates that parents have “a central role, as they are the accountability mechanism for their child’s education” (Goldman et al., 2020, p. 158). Families and school professionals have opportunities to contribute to and even impact the success of their students on many levels. Partnerships, communication, and engagement with school professionals can be especially beneficial for families of students who receive special education services. This can only happen when a relationship exists between the student’s family and the school community. However, even with legal policies and the collaborative wishes of parents and professionals, partnerships between school personnel and families are often derailed, undernourished, and unsuccessful (Blue-Banning et al., 2004). Conflicts that grow from these experiences, parental advocacy, and interactions are a near constant reality in special education and its related fields (Goldman et al., 2020; Mueller & Vick, 2019). Specifically, research shows that family members “are often excluded, ignored, and in some cases, challenged during IEP meetings” where most conflict takes place between parents and educators (Mueller & Vick, 2019, p. 100). Prevention of conflict through collaborative partnerships developed through into meaningful relationships and early dispute resolution is a recommended practice documented in both federal policy (IDEA, Goals 2000, Title I, Every Student Succeeds Act, Communities and Children's Mental Health Systems Improvement Act) and educational research (Blue-Banning et al., 2004; Hedeen, & Cruz, 2022; Mueller & Vick, 2019).

In the field of special education, the act of collaboration and relationship building with families is especially impactful. Special education professionals seek to help students with unique expertise, research, and training that may be completely new or foreign to families. Special education includes unique processes, technical concepts, and detailed procedures that can take the form of its own language leaving many families feeling like they are “traveling to a new country without a map” (Hedeen & Cruz, 2022, p. 9). It is important to reach through that unfamiliar system and those potential misunderstandings in order to build relationships through communication that comes from all parties in that team. School professionals can build opportunities for relationships and their own capacities for helping students with disabilities succeed by listening to stories and the history of both individuals and of experiences in schools. In a 2004 focus group study, authors identified the important dimensions of family-school relationships through interviews with focus groups. One key concept emphasized the importance of school staff hearing directly from families. Specifically, staff needed to hear “stories about how various actions or inactions have impacted their family and about how well intended actions or comments did or did not have their intended effect.” (Blue-Banning et al., 2004, p. 181). After a review of the legal provisions and background in this chapter, learning will expand through interviews, examples, and advice from current stakeholders and families in order to facilitate this important dimension for educators. By communicating these personal stories, including one from a student who receives special education services recognizing that a school “felt like home” and acknowledging that the family-school relationship was focused on their very independence and community, it tells a story of true engagement and success (A. Avery, personal communication, April 19, 2023).