Abstract
Death is a fact of life. Ultimately, everyone will eventually have to face the prospect of their own death or the (forthcoming) death of someone close to them. Therefore, it is important to understand the communication scripts used by families and close friends to talk about death and dying. Talking about death can be difficult for all of those involved. Many people will rely on religious messages; however, for a major section of the population in the United States who are not religious, those messages are both ineffective and inappropriate. The chapter explores the grief communication of non-religious people as they navigated terminal diagnoses and the sudden death of a loved one. Participants were interviewed about the challenges they faced while dealing with messages about death and dying.
TopIntroduction
Death is a fact of life. Ultimately, everyone will eventually have to face the prospect of their own death or the (forthcoming) death of someone close to them. Therefore, it is important to understand the communication scripts used by families and close friends to talk about death and dying. Talking about death can be difficult for all of those involved. In many places death is a taboo topic (Wright et al., 2013). Even physicians struggle with communication strategies for informing a patient of a terminal diagnosis and the prospect of having a limited number of months left to live (Fallowfield & Jenkins, 2004). Studies show the mere act of providing care for a terminally ill loved one can lead to negative health outcomes for the caregiver (Rabow et al., 2004). Many families find difficulty in piercing through the taboo nature of death communication (Wright et al., 2013). Those families may find difficulty in broaching topics like advanced care directives, deteriorating health, final wishes, how to preserve the memory of the person once they have died, and the nature of death itself. Grieving can be a difficult process and losing a beloved family member can leave the bereaved feeling as though they have lost an important part of themselves (Klass & Marwitt, 1988-1989). What is clear is that facing death is difficult and improving our communication tools for grief communication can help to ameliorate the potentially negative effects of grieving.
The prospect of death can lead people to examine their religious beliefs. Keeley (2007) found that 67% of survivors reported discussing religion during their final conversations—those conversations that occur between the time of terminal diagnosis and death. For these people, discussing religion with their loved one operated to validate their beliefs and affirm both parties’ belief in an afterlife. However, communicating about death can be even more challenging for the remaining portion of the population who do not believe in the many available grief scripts that rely on religious overtures and platitudes, such as the death being a part of God’s master plan, the deceased now being in a better place, or that their loved one is now an angel looking over them (Christina, 2011).
Key Terms in this Chapter
Final Conversations: The conversations that occur between a patient and their loved ones from the time of a terminal diagnosis until the patient’s death; Conversations about one’s impending or eventual death.
“Nones”: People who identify as atheist, agnostic, or irreligious in some way.
Advanced Care Directive: A legal document, such as a living will, that provides guidance for medical and health care decisions. Additionally, advanced care directives may assign durable power of attorney for medical decisions to an individual to act as proxy in cases in which the patient becomes incapable or incompetent to make healthcare decisions on their own behalf.
Social Support: Comprises the communication techniques used to attend to various social needs.
Bereavement: The state of feeling emotional pain resulting from the loss of a beloved family member or friend.
Grief: The intense emotional pain experienced alongside loss.
End-of-Life Communication: Includes messages surrounding death and dying. Topics include but are not limited to final wishes, funeral plans, advanced care directives, and grief.
Sudden Death: An unexpected death that is either instantaneous or which occurs quite suddenly.