Abstract
Life changes abruptly after the death or loss of an important figure in a child's life. It is often difficult for children and teens to express the feelings that come with grief. With a lack of experience in coping skills and communicating their feelings, children rely on parental caregivers to help support their navigation through bereavement for the success of their wellbeing. Without intentional support, children are at risk for long-term negative effects that often are seen in academic performance and home or school behavior. A decrease in mental and emotional wellbeing often occurs without support. This chapter provides important information on understanding grief and loss in children, the implications grief has on children and teens, and activities and resources for caregivers to support the bereavement journey.
TopBuilding A Foundational Understanding Of Grief And Loss
Multidimensional grief theory (MGT) provides a helpful framework for understanding the grief process. It offers a developmentally informed model for understanding and conceptualizing a wide range of adaptive and maladaptive grief reactions (Hill et al., 2019). MGT focuses on the risk and protective factors that an individual experiences throughout their lifetime that can impact their experience of grief.
MGT highlights three key domains that impact grief reactions: a) separation distress, b) existential-identity-related distress, and c) distress over the circumstances of the death. It examines how the individual is managing each domain with either maladaptive or adaptive coping skills (Kaplow et al., 2013). Separation distress refers to the reactions to the continuing absence of the deceased and the inability to reunite. Existential-identify-related distress speaks to the individual’s response to the challenges caused by the disruptions of the loss. Finally, circumstance-related distress speaks to reactions directly related to how the death occurred (Hill et al., 2019). Viewing grief through this lens allows parents and caregivers an opportunity to focus on the area or areas the child's experience of grief and loss has most impacted.
While MGT argues that grief is a natural reaction to loss, there are distinctions between adaptive and maladaptive responses (Hill et al., 2019). MGT is rooted in the belief that both positive adjustment and maladjustment can occur within each domain and that positive and negative adaptations can and do frequently co-occur within a single area (Alvis et al., 2022). Children can show signs of adaptive coping behaviors in one area of their grief and maladaptive coping in another. Additionally, the theory provides a way to examine the different risks and protective factors that may contribute to an individual’s varied reactions to the bereavement experience. This may also explain why children from the same family experience the death or loss of a loved one in very unique ways (Alvis et al., 2022).
The overall goal of MGT is to help caregivers understand where and how maladaptive grief reactions are occurring. When this is understood, interventions can be tailored to meet the specific domain where the maladaptation is occurring and can support the individual as they move from a maladaptive to an adaptive coping style. This knowledge can equip and empower caregivers to provide specific support for the grieving child. Multidimensional grief theory places a strong emphasis on the child’s caretaking environment and the ability of their caretaker to respond to their needs. The theory suggests that one key intervention is to strengthen the caretaking system following a bereavement (Hill et al., 2019).
Types of Grief and Loss
Grief and loss occur from both the death and the physical and emotional loss of a loved one. Traumatic losses such as suicide, death due to violence, or homicide can have unique factors attached to the grieving, such as feelings of rejection by peers or the community. This can leave children and their families feeling abandoned. These types of deaths are correlated to higher ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) scores and increase a child’s risk for mental illness, substance use, and physical illness (Turner, 2020). Symptoms of grief that come from the death of a loved one can also occur in other types of loss, such as immigration, foster care, adoption, military deployment, permanent change of station, divorce, or permanent change in family structure.
Key Terms in this Chapter
Disenfranchised Grief: Grief of the loss that is not acknowledged, accepted by others, or mourned publicly by others.
Adverse Childhood Experiences: Childhood traumatic events.
Psychosocial Development: Changes in behavior and social cognition over time.
Bereavement: The state of being after loss of a significant person in one’s life.
Prolonged Grief: Intense emotional response that occurs often and impacts daily living.
Ambiguous Loss: Emotional response to the loss of someone that has not died but has no physical connection to the person.
Grief: Emotional response to loss.