African American Single Mothers Thriving Despite Society's Obstacles

Introduction

Kruvelis et al. (2017) stated that women of color are more likely to be single parents. Specifically, African American women were the largest group (37%) of single mothers enrolled at the undergraduate level during the 2011-12 school year. This chapter explores anecdotal experiences from various African American single mothers. These remarkable women tap into the circumstances of their experiences of being a single mother, whether their circumstance came about because of an intentional personal choice, the consequence of an adolescent mistake, or an unexpected life-changing event. This chapter also explores how the single mothers navigated recent regional and global events such as severe weather storms, social justice/Black Lives Matter Movement events, COVID-19, and how those events have personally impacted their lives and their children. Participants were asked to reflect on any challenges they may have encountered as a result of the aforementioned events as well as strategies they have implemented to overcome and thrive at work and in school. Their accounts include answers to the following questions: What are the circumstances regarding how and why you came to be a single mother? What stigmas have you encountered as a result? How have recent turbulent times (hurricanes, Black Lives Matter incidents, snowstorms, etc.) affected you and your child or children? What strategies have you used to overcome the challenges and stigmas of being a single African American mother? What strategies or techniques have you taught your child or children to thrive through it all? What advice would you give to someone regarding the ways to communicate with single mothers? How has the attainment of your doctoral degree influenced others in your sphere of influence?

There is a myriad of reasons why one may be a single mother. From the woman who chose to pursue a career first and In vitro fertilization at an older age, the widow, a divorcee, one who chose to adopt a child alone, someone serving as a foster parent due to their inability to conceive, to the teenage mother. Regardless of the circumstance, society often places a stigma on a single mother without knowing her full story. This is especially true for African American single mothers. According to Dow, 2015, African American single mothers battle with stigmas that range from the Welfare Queen, someone who is described as poor and dependent on welfare, to the Strong Black Woman (SBW), one who is totally independent, self-reliant, and too proud to ask for help. Dow indicates that both terms come with negative connotations that these mothers struggle to deal with and overcome. In Dow’s study, sixty African American mothers described how they addressed their experiences on the job and in social settings.

According to Dow (2015), African American middle and upper-middle-class mothers frequently battle to prevail over the gamut of perceptions that range from people thinking they are poor and living on welfare to survive, to the staunchly independent black woman. The single mother stigma brings certain connotations to each of these perceived roles that African American mothers are forced to deal with in their daily lives. Participants in Dow’s (2015) study shared strategies they employed to contend with such stereotypes. Additionally, the strategies were based on whether the participant chose to either invest in, resist, or reject the stereotype.

The middle and upper-middle-class mothers in Dow’s (2015) study described how they managed people’s “Welfare Queen” perceptions of them. These participants reported that they felt as though they had to gain the acceptance of middle-class white parents and children when they took their children to the park or engaged in extra-curricular activities, for example. Some of the strategies that they implemented to cope with or reject the negative perceptions included referring to their careers or spouses when interacting with other women. They also reported being conscious of how they presented themselves by the way they dressed, wore their hair, or the way they spoke to lessen or eliminate the presuppositions that others may have of them.